Bathroom Privileges

...We all call it by another name. Water closet, Lieu, Restroom, The Throne Room, or Bathroom among some. I would like to call it hell. Why? Well we all have the need to use the facilities on a regular basis, but the women and Business believe they have the monopoly on them. We'll explore the women's side of things first. I have the privilege to have a home where the boy girl ratio is split. Now you would figure that the time in the bathroom would be split. You would be wrong. If the bathrooms are occupied and the both the male and females were waiting the female would win with the comment, "you go find a tree somewhere." Is that fair. I say just because we undo less clothing to go don't mean we are the dogs looking for the closest hydrant. Also, getting ready in the mornings. You would figure since the men take less time in the bathroom they go first. once again you would be wrong. The truth is I would be putting my pants on while running down the hall heading toward the door. This might sound funny unless its your head hitting the floor because you made a miss step.-- Now with the businesses. Most restaurants let you use the restrooms even if you are not eating there. But there are those that say if your not eating here you cant enter. So I say when this happens Urinate on yourself in the middle of the place and then they wont say no next time. Of course this is after you pay the city a fine and bail out of jail. Gas stations. What the hell is wrong with just handing you a key or leaving it open. They give you a key connected to a 2 x 4 or some contraption. I say get the key and return it connected to a logging chain about 6' long with a used tire at the end. Think they will find it then. In closing. The bathroom in all its glory is just a place to drop trowl and take care of some of life's business. Oh got to go home alone and the bathroom is clear. with no Visitors.